(Written as part of mental health awareness week!)
So it’s that time again- it’s mental health awareness week!
I’ve documented on this blog my previous, and some persisting, mental health issues on this blog.
But this year something new started.
It’s called “imposter syndrome”
And at first, it hid as being a humble person
“Yeah I know my mum is proud of me”
“No I’m really not that clever, honestly”
“Yeah uni is going alright”
In reality uni is going extremely well for me. I’m on track to start my PhD in September. But I still struggle to be proud of my achievements. I’m still shocked when I get a good grade. Every tiny mistake brings the fear of being “found out” by my peers or lecturers, that I’m not as great as everyone thinks I am.
It’s a common problem, I suppose, with the way our systems of social mobility are structured.
You started at the bottom, and you could quite easily end up back there with one ‘wrong move’
I’m having to teach myself to be proud, and actually talk about my achievements without passing them off as nothing.
University is hard- especially as a disabled person.
And it’s about time I acknowledged that.
I’m not an imposter. I’m a disabled, bisexual, passionate academic woman (who really likes cats and live music)