“Yes, we’re fully accessible” – but are uyou?

If disability is more than just wheelchairs, then access is more than just ramps

That was something I tweeted some time ago, and I used it in a conference presentation, because I knew it was one of the most profound things to ever come out of my mouth.

If disability is more than just wheelchairs-

Disability is more than just what walking aid a person uses (if any). Many are invisible, and yes, under the social model of disability, things like mental illnesses and chronic illnesses are impairments that cause the person to experience disabling barriers.

Let’s take me for example:

My impairments are:

– Anxiety (a mental health issue)

– Dyspraxia (a neurological impairment/ specific learning difficulty)

– Joint hyper-mobility syndrome (joint problems and chronic pain)

All of these are impairments that make me a disabled person, and – surprise- I don’t use a wheelchair, and most of my impairments can’t be seen to the naked eye (I use a crutch because of JHMS on a regular basis)

Access is more than just ramps

So that leads us onto the next part- if disability is more than just wheelchairs, then the scale of access issues people may face goes beyond just having a ramp to get into the building, and a disabled toilet.

What happens if the environment is too loud?

Or the signs showing you what room to go to are absolutely terrible or non existent?

Even at the level of getting in, can the disabled person access all floors/areas of the building?

If the answer is no, then it’s not accessible!

I don’t just want this to be another long angry post, so if you think what I’ve said makes a good point, please consider taking a few moments to review a place you usually go, thinking about it’s access, via Euan’s Guide.

The website is great, but it relies on people reviewing the usual places they go everyday! Consider yourselves recruited!

Click here to go to Euan’s Guide

Until next time.

Becca 🙂

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Imposter syndrome – my new arch nemesis

(Written as part of mental health awareness week!)

So it’s that time again- it’s mental health awareness week!

I’ve documented on this blog my previous, and some persisting, mental health issues on this blog.

But this year something new started.

It’s called “imposter syndrome”

And at first, it hid as being a humble person

“Yeah I know my mum is proud of me”

“No I’m really not that clever, honestly”

“Yeah uni is going alright”

In reality uni is going extremely well for me. I’m on track to start my PhD in September. But I still struggle to be proud of my achievements. I’m still shocked when I get a good grade. Every tiny mistake brings the fear of being “found out” by my peers or lecturers, that I’m not as great as everyone thinks I am.

It’s a common problem, I suppose, with the way our systems of social mobility are structured.

You started at the bottom, and you could quite easily end up back there with one ‘wrong move’

I’m having to teach myself to be proud, and actually talk about my achievements without passing them off as nothing.

University is hard- especially as a disabled person.

And it’s about time I acknowledged that.

I’m not an imposter. I’m a disabled, bisexual, passionate academic woman (who really likes cats and live music)

Becca 🙂

Am I autistic or am I Dyspraxic? (and why I won’t be rushing for a diagnosis)

It’s a question that gets me wondering every Autism awareness week: do I have autism?

It’s a question I used to ask myself in my teens. Yet I didn’t pursue a diagnosis out of fear, and not really knowing where to go. Roll onto a few days after my 19th birthday, I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia.

Dyspraxia carries a number of social traits, some of which cross over with traits associated with being on the Autism spectrum. However, people can be diagnosed with both Dyspraxia and Autism. According to NICE guidelines, I’d actually meet the criteria for diagnosis.

So, why do I continually not pursue a diagnosis? In light of the recent channel 4 programme “Am I autistic?” I have seen a lot of my fellow Dyspraxics either relived or terrified that they’ve seen the program, and thought “Oh God that’s me!”. I’ve talked about the positives of Dyspraxia before. I embrace my “weirdness” and have fears about approaching a GP to essentially pathologize my behaviour into a category, that means it’s not “normal” (again, to touch on previous blogs, whatever the Hell normal is)

So it’s Autism awareness week. I’m glad that it’s being given plenty of coverage. Even if a few more people take solace, like I did with my Dyspraxia diagnosis, in pursuing an autism diagnosis, then autism awareness week has done its job! ❤️

I don’t need fixing.

On the 7th of November, 2016 the a United Nations committee declared that the United Kingdom was in breach of the United Nations Convention of the Rights of Disabled People (UNCRPD), after a two year investigation. What should have ideally been a turning point, to positively change the “grim reality” of life for disabled people, was quickly snubbed by the current government as “offensive”. The government reassured the public it was “continuously seeking improvements for disabled people” and the findings were soon dismissed and forgotten. However, disabled people continue to face the human rights abuses the UN report outlines. It’s 3 months later, apart from the promise of reassessing a lot of people’s Personal Independence Payment claims, not much has happened. I’m angry about that.

Since starting my MA in disability studies in September, Ableism is the concept that I’ve come across, and one I like to use. In a similar way to racism or sexism, ableism is the idea that disabled people are part of a disabled: non-disabled dichotomy. Being disabled is seen as inherently negative as a result. Ableism permeates all aspects of the social world, from social policy, to everyday interactions with others. The UNCRPD aims to combat ableism, by regularly following each signatory country to ensure they are doing more and more to meet all the articles.

Raised in the UN report into the UK violations, were 11 recommendations, many of which centred on the changes to the welfare state, that hugely affect disabled people, infringing on their human rights. Many of the UN’s concerns are about the changes to welfare, adopted since 2010, as well as the rights to independent living and to be included in the community, social protection and employment of persons with disabilities.

 

I cannot stress how important this report should have been, in changing the government’s policies towards welfare for society’s most vulnerable.

 

But, since much of what we see in the media and from our government centres on ableism: where disabled people are ‘scroungers’ and hear things like ‘Oh I wish I didn’t have to work and get free money’ – is it really a surprise?

There has been an alarming rise in this sort of rhetoric across all areas of life. What society needs to do is recognise that disabled people have a lot to give. We need to move on from the poles of ‘inspiration overcomes disability’ and ‘tragically suffers from disability’ – what happens to all of us who fall somewhere in between? Is disability really as scary and negative as society thinks it is?

As a woman with a chronic pain, joint problems and dyspraxia, I don’t necessarily suffer. I know that’s hard for many people to understand. I still go to university, see my friends, and live my life. Shocking.

What I suffer from is a society that would prefer if I were ‘normal’

That I should attempt to continually ‘fix’ myself, to pass as able bodied / non-disabled.

My answer to that is, no.

Fix society’s attitude.

Fix the welfare system.

Fix the access issues

Fix the pathology and medicalisation.

Fix the lack of awareness and understanding.

I do not need fixing.

Becca

“But it’s not the same!” – chronic illness, learning disabilities, and continuity

So on the 5th of September 2017, I failed my driving theory test. 

Now, at first glance, that’s not a massive problem- lots of people fail first time.

Until you ask me what I failed on. My friend’s response was ‘How did you fail hazard perception?’

My driving instructor’s response was that at least I did well on the ‘hard’ section.

And at first I didn’t understand either. I worked out eventually that dyspraxia, the introduction of yet another new drug to my body, and a typical bad flare day (pun unintended) were to blame. 

I should have passed. I got a pretty high score on the multiple choice test section (47/50)…..On the hazard perception, I got trigger happy in a blind panic. I can, almost every time (still learning) can spot and react to developing hazards whilst I’m actually driving.

But the past week or so has been a tough one to start with: my GP decided a few weeks back, I should give amitriptaline another go.

What a huge mistake.


I’d been in ‘limping-walking-stick-zombie-mode’ ever since.

Safe to say they soon got canceled as a bad idea.
I’ve been learning to drive for a while now- a while being 3 1/2 years- and only now is me taking my driving test actually a possibly. 

I passed my theory test on 19th of October. This was after it was explained to me that looking for hazards wasn’t just my understanding of physical objects like cars and people walking in the road. Oh!

This time I wasn’t trailing new medication, and it was a relatively good day pain wise, so my brain wasn’t hugely pre-occupied. I still had to work really hard to ignore the clicking of other people around me (when I’ve had uni exams I’ve always been in a separate room)

I feel that there should be better training for Hazard perception tests. There’s hardly any prep for them.

I suppose something I have learnt is that, even with all possible barriers taken away, some things will always be difficult. But that also doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try.

I’ve been learning to drive a manual car for almost 3 1/2 years now.

I’ve literally completed my degree in less time.

And yet I persist.

Maybe next year I’ll be driving for real, instead of watching the hazard perception videos?

A girl can dream.

Poem: priorities

This morning when I got up

My main priority was to finish off those few tweaks to my assignment

Tonight, I have achieved  the following: showered, fed, and dressed myself

This morning when I got up

My main priority was what I would wear to go out with friends in the evening

Tonight, I sit with a hot water bottle, drugged up to cold undead eye sockets, on prescription medication

This morning when I got up 

My main priority was to make it to my lecture 

Tonight, I come in from a hospital dash- it was one of those days when my perscribed medication was doing nothing 

This morning when I got up

I watched the able students of the student body pass my window without a care

This evening I am wiping the dirt off of my walking aid, and hobbling to the kitchen 

That morning, just after my 21st birthday, my priority was to be treated for my pain 

This evening, 4 years later, I still wait

This is a disability assessment

This is a disability assessment
This is for Personal Independence Payment
This is death
This is humiliation 
This is judgement day 
This is the fine line between scrounger and innocent 
This is the difference between food bank or a food shop
This is being able to heat your home
This is the key your freedom 
This is the key your destitution
This is your fate- decided
This is a prompt for a UN enquiry
This is a test 

This is a trial 

This is ‘yes’ ‘no’ ‘sometimes’

This is the way the government defines disability
This is wrong 
This needs to stop 
This kills disabled people
When will that be enough?

Image credit: http://www.scriptonitedaily.com/2013/03/29/our-last-good-friday-easter-monday-beginning-of-the-end-for-uk-poor/